Its all relative

I grew up in a small town in southern Utah. I was the only person in town who was not related to anyone, and I know, because this is what happened every single school year:

Bill Smith?
Bill, are you related to Mike and Stella Smith over in Warshington?
Yes, sir. They're my aunt and uncle.
Very good.

Susan Young?
Susan, you must be Brad and Cindy's daughter.
Yes. Kristin is my sister, she was in your class last year.
Great! Kristin was a great student and I expect you will be too.

John Leavitt?
John. Any relation to Mike Leavitt?
He's my dad's cousin.
He'll be governor some day - mark my words.
Yes, sir.

Stephanie Stanley?
Stephanie - I don't know any Stanley's around here. Who are you related to?
I'm not related to anyone.
What about the Stanleys up in Orem - Jim and Darlene?
Hmm. Where are you from? (he's thinking outer space)
Las Vegas, but my parents are from New York and Wisconsin
You're not cross-eyed. I thought everyone from out-of-state was cross-eyed? (ha ha ha)

Brandon Hatch?
Orrin Hatch your uncle?
Why yes he is!

And so it went, every year. I had forgotten about this until just the other day. I had to contact the school in preparation for my high school reunion. Here's the conversation I had:

"Hello, this is Stephanie Martin. I am calling to speak to the custodian to make certain bathrooms will be available to us on Saturday, June 14th."

"Hi Stephanie, just a minute, I'll put you through to the custodian......Are you related to any of the Martins around here?" (Memories rush back)

"No, sadly, I'm not."


Tiburon said...

That made me crack up! Thanks for sharing :)

Got Boys? said...

So, so funny!

Becky said...

So funny! I've got a friend in WA with the last name of Stanley. Wonder if you are related? Just Kidding : )

Steph said...

Hey, I stumbled on your blog by registering at SiteMeter, only to discover that YOU took MY name. (YES, I was born FIRST). I kept reading because I grew up in Minnesota, and my parents also live in the middle of nowhere: Tower, MN. I visit in the summer but NEVER in the winter!
Anyway, here's my blog if you dare. It's kinda boring, but I am trying to keep it clean because my mom reads it. She says it's the only way she knows I am alive...(sigh)

No cleaning here, either. That's what kids are for...child labor laws be damned!

Steph said...

Oh, I forgot. I grew up in a small town (700 people) in southeastern Minnesota. We moved there when I was 2. I spent my entire school years there, but we were always, "The family from up north." My parents moved back north about 10 years ago, to the tiny town where my mom was raised. When my kids go there, they say, "So you are one of the Tuomis!" (My grandparents name) It cracks me up, because I guess it goes both ways.
OK, done now. I love your blog and your family. Take care, you name stealer! Steph