Attachment Disorder and Other 4-Letter Thoughts

At our house, we deal constantly with things like providing food, transporting kids, folding laundry, washing dishes, crying, complaining, and CRAZY LYING.  I can't even think of a funny way to say how I feel about, or a "picture word" to describe CRAZY LYING that isn't vulgar or inappropriate.  It just makes me angry.  Yesterday, Dee was copying down math answers onto a sticky note from the answer book and got caught.  Even though I caught her, and confronted her, she maintained that she had done nothing wrong, and had NOT been copying answers.  In case you're wondering, this is a smiley face.  Using fractions for eyes.

She refused to back down, apologize, admit she was wrong, or any such thing.  In fact, this morning we went to counseling, and she still didn't admit to cheating or lying, even though I had proof.  That is CRAZY LYING. It is lying about something that is blatantly obvious.  This happens at our house at least once a day, and would happen more often if I asked more questions, which I don't.  Because I've learned what to expect.  CRAZY LYING is a symptom of Attachment Disorder, which is a nasty by-product of neglect, abandonment, and/or trauma.

What should I do when this happens?  From my limited research, and according to our therapist, I should not show anger, but immediately shut down the arguing back and forth, saying something like "I don't believe you" or "I know you wish that was true. Let's try telling the truth again", then have Dee run laps to release stress and adrenaline, and after that, let it go.  By CRAZY LYING, she is either wanting to push my buttons (which puts her in control), not get into trouble, or get negative attention.

HB Dianna!!

5, 6, or 7 years ago, a beautiful little girl was born somewhere in the bush in Liberia, West Africa. They named her Dianna. I try to imagine what Dianna might have looked like as a baby, what her pictures would look like if they had been taken and we had them. But in Liberia, there are no birth records, or baby pictures, or Creative Memories scrapbooks. There are only beautiful, and often hungry, children who are loved by the people caring for them.

11 months ago, we were blessed to be able to bring this beautiful girl into the United States, and into our home. She is very independent, having had to care for herself without much supervision or assistance, so we struggle with having her follow our rules. But looking back at the past 11 months, we can see progress. We have many good days, and the hard days seem gradually fewer and farther between.

We love you very much Dianna, and your first birthday with us is a very special celebration for all of us!
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