6.21.2008

Odyssey Airlines

Good morning, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight 4876590 from Grand Rapids to Duluth. We are presently at a cruising altitude of 3 feet. In accordance with FAA guideline #1387309, as soon as our crusing altitude reaches 19,802 feet, I will turn off the fasten seatbelt indicator, and you may move freely around the cabin. At that time, a refreshment cart will begin beverage service. Please keep arms and legs out of the aisle. This is a no smoking flight. Our lavatories have been equipped with smoke detectors and should you choose to smoke in our lavatories, the aircraft will land, and you will be thrown off the plane.

Our plane is a pressurized aircraft. Should the oxygen level on our plane fall below FAA guidelines, an airmask will drop down. Please place your mask over your face, and tighten the elastic band behind your head. Remember to place your own mask on first before assisting someone else. In the unlikely event we make an emergency water landing, your seat cushion will serve as a flotation device. Simply pull up on the cushion, and place your arms through the straps.

You will notice we have 5 exits - front, middle, and rear. Please note that your nearest exit MAY be behind you.

We know you have other airlines you can choose from, and as always, we thank you for choosing Odyssey Airlines.

1 comment:

Tiburon said...

You freakin crack me up!