Attachment Disorder and Other 4-Letter Thoughts

At our house, we deal constantly with things like providing food, transporting kids, folding laundry, washing dishes, crying, complaining, and CRAZY LYING.  I can't even think of a funny way to say how I feel about, or a "picture word" to describe CRAZY LYING that isn't vulgar or inappropriate.  It just makes me angry.  Yesterday, Dee was copying down math answers onto a sticky note from the answer book and got caught.  Even though I caught her, and confronted her, she maintained that she had done nothing wrong, and had NOT been copying answers.  In case you're wondering, this is a smiley face.  Using fractions for eyes.

She refused to back down, apologize, admit she was wrong, or any such thing.  In fact, this morning we went to counseling, and she still didn't admit to cheating or lying, even though I had proof.  That is CRAZY LYING. It is lying about something that is blatantly obvious.  This happens at our house at least once a day, and would happen more often if I asked more questions, which I don't.  Because I've learned what to expect.  CRAZY LYING is a symptom of Attachment Disorder, which is a nasty by-product of neglect, abandonment, and/or trauma.

What should I do when this happens?  From my limited research, and according to our therapist, I should not show anger, but immediately shut down the arguing back and forth, saying something like "I don't believe you" or "I know you wish that was true. Let's try telling the truth again", then have Dee run laps to release stress and adrenaline, and after that, let it go.  By CRAZY LYING, she is either wanting to push my buttons (which puts her in control), not get into trouble, or get negative attention.

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